Wedding Banquet

This usually happens at night.

Certain types of food are commonly served at the Chinese wedding banquet, which include fish, roast suckling pig, pigeon, chicken cooked with red oil, lobster and desert bun with lotus seeds stuffed inside. The pronunciation of fish is the same as "abundance", meaning the newlyweds will have plentiful of wealth. Roast suckling pig is usually served whole, a symbol of the bride's purity (virginity). Pigeon implies peaceful future. Chicken also means phoenix, cooked in red oil to symbolize the wish for a prosperous life ahead for the newlyweds. Lobster is literally called "dragon shrimp" in Chinese. Having lobster and chicken together at wedding banquet indicates that the dragon and the phoenix are hormones together, and the Yin and Yang elements in this family is balanced.

But these days no one really cares for this, it's more of a ritual & usually you don't get a whole suckling pig or lobster.

Wedding Tea Ceremony

Then at the official ritual that equals to the wedding vow in western wedding, the newlyweds kneel three times, to the heaven and earth, to the ancestral tablets and their parents, then to each other. 

The kneeling part has been replaced with bowing in modern Chinese wedding.  The bride then present tea to the parents and relatives in sequence of seniority.  Those who receive the tea usually give the bride gifts such as jewelry or Li Shi , angpow .  Thus it's the end of the ritual.

Wedding Door Game

Then the groom sets out to the bride's home, and he will inevitably be blocked at her door by her friends, and the bridesmaids will play door game with the groom and his attendants.

Door game originated from ancient time which implies that the bride is a lovely girl and her family and friends do not want to marry her away.  The groom will be blocked at the bride's door, and her friends will try to stop him from entering by asking questions about the bride, a way to test if he really cares about her.  They may also do other tricks to delay the bride's leaving.  The groom will try to buy his way in by presenting "Li Shi", token money in an ang pow. Door game is a joyous and good-natured "bargain" game essential in Chinese wedding.

When the bride finally goes out to ascend the car, a bridesmaid will hold a red umbrella over her head, meaning "raise the bark, spread the leaves." Other relatives will scatter rice, red bean and green bean on her. The red umbrella protects the bride from evil spirit, and the rice and beans are to attract the attention of the gold chicken. 

When the bride arrives at  the groom's home, firecrackers and music with gongs and drums greets the bride.  The bride will leap over a iron basin with lit charcoal inside. It is a ritual to bring prosperity and keep evils away. This last part for obvious reasons is a totally omitted these days :)

Ceremony on the Wedding Day itself

In the morning of the wedding day, "hair dressing" (Shang Tou) ritual is performed for the bride.
 A "good luck woman", woman with living parents, spouse and children, will come to help dressing up the bride's hair. The woman should also say auspicious words while tying up her hair in a bun, a style of married woman. The groom's family perform "capping" (Jia Guan) ritual for the groom at their home.  These rituals in Chinese culture symbolize that they are entering adulthood. 

Chinese Wedding Decorations

The two families decorates the bridal house and the reception site for the upcoming wedding ceremony.   Lots of lively colors, red in particular, is used in Chinese wedding decoration.  Red banners used for wedding is called "happiness banners", which is an essential part of the wedding decorations.  It's decorated on both sides of the doors of the newlywed's home and the reception site.  The Chinese writing on the banners are rhythmic poem praising the adorable couple and the perfect marriage.

 Papercut of Double Happiness, dragon and phoenix are widely used at Chinese wedding.

Bridal Bed Setting (An Chuang) Ritual. 

A few days before the wedding, the bride's family send dowry to the groom's family, or the couple's new home nowadays.  The groom's family will invite a respected female relative or friend to "set the bridal bed" at the new home.  In some part of China in the old days, a unmarried young boy will be invited to sleep in the bridal bed the night before the wedding to bring fertility to the newlyweds. 

In Singapore most just probably just decorate the room e.g. with new beddings etc... the elaborate décor of the whole house is often not done:)

Wedding Dowry

The bride's family prepares  dowry and give a list of the dowries to the groom's family. 
Dowry is mostly composed of daily necessities for the new home, such as bedding, linen and dining set, etc. 
In the old Chinese culture, girls start learning needle work at young age, and prepare plenty of shoes, socks, table cloth etc, as part of her dowry. 
This is also an opportunity for the bride's family to display their love for their daughter as well as their wealth.  Things like the four kinds of gold jewellery & abalone etc... are usually included.

However no one does all of that anymore. The 4 kinds of gold is still a popular practice, but the line has been blurred. Many of my girl friends  receive this gift from the groom instead...lol..... & it often comes with an ang pow too ! :)

Traditional Chinese Wedding Cakes

After the betrothal  meeting, both families will make wedding announcement to their relatives and friends by sending out  "Double Happiness Cakes" along with wedding invitations.  This is the Chinese style wedding cakes also known as "Dragon & Phoenix Cakes".  These are baked cake with dragon and phoenix imprint on the surface.  Some styles have fillings made of lotus seed paste, red bean paste or green bean paste. 

The wedding cakes are usually presented to the bride's family by the groom's family as part of the proposal gift. Bride's family will then present some of the cakes to worship their ancestors and send the rest of cakes to friends and relatives along with wedding invitations. Quantity of cakes to be sent depends on seniority of guest or relationship with the family. 

These days in Singapore, the wedding cakes are usually served to the guests at the wedding instead of the western style wedding cakes.

Guide to Traditional Chinese Wedding, Singapore style !

Chinese wedding culture is a vital part of Chinese tradition.  Many rituals and customs have been lost in course of history, but many are observed even today.  It is practiced in honour of family value and respect to committed relationship, the holly marriage. 

Chinese Wedding Customs and Rituals Before the Wedding

Proposal & Betrothal

In Chinese Culture, a marriage is considered the joining of two families.  Thus the parents of the bride's and groom's get involved in their wedding planning from very early on.  Two families pick an auspicious date as the Betrothal Day.  This is a formal meeting between the parents of the perspective bride and groom.

The groom's family presents various proposal gifts that represents fertility and prosperity in Chinese culture, which is also known as "Grand Gift" or "Guo Da Li".  All gifts should come in even numbers, meaning "good things double" in Chinese culture. 

Thus, the two are considered officially engaged.

But these days in Singapore, many skip the "guo da li" step! However setting of the auspicious day is still very much a tradition with everyone!

Destressing

Feeling too much stress lately from work, parties & the whole festive season!
Wondering what's the best way to destress. Sleep it off, excercise or play some slow music?

When you are stress you cant sleep, just too tense to do that anyway. And no time for excercise! So down to music.

I heard classical music seems to be the most effective at soothing stress!The tempo of these compoositions like Mozart or Beethoven can induce brainwave changes & reset emotional switches that trigger the relesae of pleasure producing chemicals.

Well if classical music is not your cup of tea, try songs that literally put a smile on your face. The brain is associative, & when you like a song, your brain puts a happy tag on it when it's filed away. Hearing the song again brings back happy memories-  & that should be soothing enough!

What is a “Widow Year” ???

I read that 2013 is  a “Widow Year” …so try not to get marry this year?????

OK what’s  a “Widow Year”?

A  “Widow Year” aka  “Blind Year”  happens when there is no Li Chun or “first day of Spring” in that year. It is because there’s a difference in time periods between the solar and lunar calendars when Li Chun occurs before the first day of the Lunar Chinese New Year. This means  Li Chun would be  absent ….so events like marriages will become  inauspicious as  Li Chun represents the start of Spring and Spring represents new beginnings.

So no Li Chun = no Spring = no new beginning = inauspicious.

However if you die die have to get marry,  according to experts,  there are always  auspicious days coinciding with a person’s birth date that will overcome any in-auspiciousness of that year so one can still get married. But just get the right date!!! Good luck!!!